Everything You Need

Everything You Need To Survive in the Classroom!

By Shannon J. Holden

Founder, http://www.newteacherhelp.com

 

 

Chapter Name	Page
Lines of Communication	1
Documentation	13
Why Do We Have To Go To School?	20
Coaching To Survive	40
“I Don’t Know What To Do With Sarah”	55
Links To Other Free Materials	65
Click on these words to download this document as a PDF

 

 

Lines of Communication

 

As a new teacher, you probably are not going to receive the “benefit of the doubt” in all situations.  If a student tells their parents that you did not send home a letter outlining the purpose of the class, due dates for assignments, or consequences for missing work…the parents will probably believe their student.  If parents tell your boss (the Principal) that you did not attempt to contact them regarding their student’s failing grade, the Principal will probably believe the parents.  In order to avoid these unpleasant situations, you need to build lines of communication between yourself and the other adults in your students’ lives.

Unsuccessful students thrive on the lack of communication between the adults in their lives.  In fact, they will happily provide misinformation to each side (home and school) to cover the fact that they are not taking care of their school business.  The students know that the adults in their lives rarely have enough time in their day to check the student’s story to make sure it is the truth.

Here’s a scenario that plays itself out all too often in our country…the student comes home from school, and has this conversation with his/her parents:

Parent:  “How was school today?”

Student:  “Good.”

Parent:  “What did you learn about today?”

Student:  “Nothing.”

Parent:  “Do you have any homework?”

Student:  “No.”

Parent:  “You better not be lying to me!”

Student:  “I’m not lying!”

The student then goes to play video games, watch T.V., or whatever he does after school to unwind…knowing that his parent has no idea what is going on at school.  Not only does the parent not know what is going on at school, the student knows that the parent doesn’t have the time or energy to check.

This chapter of the New Teacher Survival Kit is going to focus on the lines of communication that you need to establish for your students to be successful.  These communication techniques increase student accountability, and indicate to the student that you will “follow through” with your pledge to hold them accountable.

 

Teacher – Parent Communication

*Letter sent home – The least effective form of communication, especially if you send the note home with the student.  Mailing the letter home costs you money for a stamp, and will be thrown away if the student is the one who checks the mailbox every day.

 

*Phone call (home phone) – Effective if you reach the parent…but effectiveness goes way down if you leave a message on the answering machine.  Kids check the messages before their parents get home, and your message is “accidentally” erased.

 

*Phone call (parent’s cell phone) – Effective if you reach the parent, and leaving messages are just as effective because parents rarely let their kids check the messages on their cell.

 

*Parent conference – Effective when you can get parents to come to the school.  Some parents will make appointments to see you, then have “something come up” to cancel the meeting.

 

*Email – My favorite mode of communication.  You can say everything you want to say without being interrupted…and you can print out the email to put in your files.  Perfect!  Well…almost perfect, as parents can use the old “I didn’t get your email” excuse.

 

*Text message – Many teachers are using text messaging to keep in touch with parents.  You don’t have to use your phone…set up a free email account with Yahoo! and use their “texting” feature on your home or school computer!  Simply type the parent’s cell phone number in the address line, then type your message in the box and hit “send”.

 

*District ListServ – My district has an apparatus to text message parents in the event of an emergency, school closing due to weather, or other important event.  Students and parents sign up for the service, which opens up an opportunity for you to access those important cell phone numbers for your professional use.

 

*Teacher website – There is no substitute for the teacher website.  You can post educational video clips that you download from YouTube (or TeacherTube), you can post educational podcasts that you can download from any of 20 different sites…and all of this material is FREE!  You can also post a calendar with information such as assignment due dates, lesson notes, and other valuable information.  Most teachers will say that they do not have the time to build and update a website.  The reality is that having an UPDATED teacher website saves you tons of time answering student and parent questions over and over.

 

*Computerized grade program with parent access – This may be hard to believe, but there are parents that do not fill out the proper forms to gain access to their student’s grades via the school’s computerized grade program.  Find a way to give an incentive to students whose parents sign up for access.  Remind them to write down their user name and password or you’ll be getting phone calls from parents who forget!

 

*Progress reports/report cards – Many of these are accidentally lost on the way home from school.  The only way that progress reports/report cards are effective is if the students are required to bring SIGNED reports back to school the next day, or be subject to a parent phone call.

 

*Student planner – The person who thought of this idea was well-intentioned, but the planner is a microcosm of how the lines of communication can break down.  Here’s how the planner works:  The teacher provides material (lesson objective & assignment) for the students to copy in their planner, the student is to faithfully put the objective and assignment for each class in the planner and take it home to be seen by their parents.  The parents must check the planner every night, and sign the planner once a week.  The student is to bring the planner back to class, where it is checked by the teacher to make sure that the message is making it home.  That’s a lot of moving parts!  If just one of the people involved (student, teacher, or parent) fail to live up to their responsibility, the system breaks down.  What makes the failure even harder to swallow is that the school bought the planners (at a cost of approximately $3 per student)…what a waste of money!

                                                                      

Teacher – Teacher Communication

*Teacher access to computerized grade program – The advent of a school-wide computerized grade program has led to increased collaboration among teachers, who now can identify students who are having difficulties in multiple classes.

 

*Professional Learning Communities – Dr. Richard DuFour’s vision of having teams of teachers collaborating to increase the level of learning for all students is becoming a reality.  Teachers can identify who needs help, and implement a “Pyramid of Interventions” that addresses the needs of individual students.

 

*Staff meeting – Even though it is an old-fashioned way of gathering and disseminating information, the staff meeting still holds an important place in our educational system.

 

*Word of mouth – Teachers meeting informally in the staff room, hallway, or other venue to share information has stood the test of time.  Make sure to be careful, though, not to talk about “confidential” subjects in a public forum!

 

*Email – One popular method of communication is email, because teachers can exchange ideas whenever they have access to a computer, and they don’t necessarily have to meet.  Another nice feature is that the email can be sent to multiple faculty members at the same time.  Once again, be careful not to send confidential information about individual students.  You never know when your email could end up in the wrong person’s inbox!

 

*Common assessments – Teachers teaching the same subject are now being encouraged to develop and implement common assessments.  “Common assessments” are defined as unit tests developed by all teachers of a particular subject, given to students at approximately the same time, with item analysis used to determine how many students answered each question correctly.  This PLC tool promotes collaboration among teachers, because students are now able to be assessed in exactly the same manner.  Gaps in learning among students being taught the same concepts by different teachers can be addressed.  For example, if a concept is mastered by 87% of students taught by Mr. Adams, and only mastered by 43% of students taught by Mr. Barnes, the two teachers can collaborate to see why such a gap in learning exists.  Mr. Adams shares with Mr. Barnes the techniques he uses to teach the concept, and Mr. Barnes has an “A-Ha!” moment.  He uses similar instructional strategies to teach the concept next time, and notices that a higher percentage of students master the concept.  This type of collaboration results in higher levels of learning for all students.

 

*File-sharing capacity on building or district server – Some buildings and districts have a place where teachers can store digital documents, pictures, or other files for everyone to use.  In my district, we call it the “R-Drive”, and teachers store lessons, assignments, projects, and tests that they wish to share with colleagues.  One of our PLC teams has a section reserved for a “digital planner”, where teachers post when their assignments are due, and when tests will be given.  This helps teachers avoid giving tests and major assignments on the same day.

 

Teacher – Principal Communication

*Principal access to computerized grade program – The Principal can identify struggling students that the teacher may have overlooked.

 

*Standardized tests – The Principal and teachers can work together to identify students that need remediation before the next standardized test, especially those students who are within 5 -10 points of passing the test the year before.

 

*Faculty meetings – Teachers can bring concerns to the Principal during these meetings.

 

*Professional Learning Communities – PLC teams can brainstorm ideas to improve instruction on their campus, and bring these suggestions to the Principal for possible implementation.

 

*Email – Do you have a question or concern, but find the Principal’s door closed when you try to drop in for a visit?  Shoot the Principal an email.  One potential breakdown in this line of communication is the fear by the teacher that they may seem “dumb” by asking their Principal a question.  If you are afraid of looking like you don’t know anything, why not access www.newteacherhelp.com to see if you can find the answer there?  When you purchase the New Teacher Survival Kit, you have 24/7 access to our experts through this email address:  newteacherhelp@yahoo.com

 

*Teacher evaluation by Principal – The teacher evaluation process should be an opportunity for significant dialogue between teacher and Principal.  Lesson planning and presentation, classroom management, and appropriate pedagogy should be discussed.

 

*Principal Advisory Committee – Many Principals like to have a committee of teachers that are not afraid to voice concerns they hear from other teachers during the week.  The committee will work only if people are able to speak up about issues that they feel need attention by the Principal.  The need for a Principal Advisory Committee is reduced if the building participates in the “Professional Learning Communities” concept, because this idea is embedded in the PLC mechanism.  Some Principals also have a Principal Advisory Committee with students as members, so that issues concerning students can be brought to (and possibly acted on) by the Principal.  The need for a Principal Advisory Committee of students is lessened if the building’s Student Council fills that role.

 

Teacher – Student Communication

*Assignments – The use of assignments is a notoriously unreliable way for teachers to assess student learning.  Did the student’s parents help them with the assignment?  Did the student copy her best friend’s answers in the cafeteria before school?  You don’t know, do you?

 

*Tests – Tests are more reliable, even though there is still an opportunity for students to cheat.  Some students will have high grades on all of their assignments, but bomb the tests due to “test anxiety”.  Or…maybe they cheated on the assignments!

 

*Standardized tests – Valuable information can be gathered when large groups of students take the same test at approximately the same time.  Teachers can use this data to diagnose which concepts students need more help in understanding.

 

*Verbal dialogue – Nothing can replace that face-to-face interaction between teacher and student.  That is one of the reasons why we are decades away from having “robot” teachers.  Of course, the advent of video conferencing is bringing us closer to being able to reduce our reliance on the “traditional” classroom dynamic.

 

*Questioning during lesson – Questioning is a great way to assess the level of student learning that is taking place during a lesson.  The teacher should go to great lengths to ensure that adequate “wait time” (usually five seconds) is provided for the entire class to ponder a question before a particular student is called on to answer the question.  If you say a student’s name, then ask the question…many students will “turn off” their brains because they know that they will not be asked the question.  If you want to have some fun during a lesson, say a student’s name, ask him the question…then ask another student the same question if the first student does not have the correct answer.  More often than not, the second student will say, “Uh…what was the question?”  She will say that because you were not using the correct techniques that guarantee individual accountability in the classroom!

 

*Teacher website – As mentioned earlier in this chapter, the teacher website is a valuable way for the teacher to provide information to students…and the Internet is open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!

 

*Facebook/MySpace/Twitter – These social networking sites can be a valuable tool for educators…or a recipe for disaster!  Be careful about using these sites, “friending” your students, or posting unprofessional material on your page.  For a list of about 100 teachers who have been suspended or fired because of their stupidity, just Google the phrase “teacher Facebook trouble” and start reading!  If you want to harness the power of the Internet, I recommend building your own website…it’s a lot safer!

 

“Secret Weapons” of Communication

*Open House Door Prize – One great weapon to use is the door prize.  Make sure to advertise the door prize at least a week before your Open House, and outline the rules of the drawing so that you don’t run into trouble during the actual night of Open House.  Tell students and parents that every adult member of a student’s immediate family (e.g.  Mother, Father,  Stepmother/ Stepfather,  Grandma, Grandpa) will receive a ticket to win the prize when they arrive at the Open House.  The drawing should be held in the cafeteria at the end of the evening, and the winner has to be present to claim the prize.  I have had the greatest success with giving away a “big screen” or “flat screen” T.V.  Have every department chip in $25 each, or have individual teachers contribute money if they feel like it.  Maybe student council could have a fundraiser to buy the T.V.  The money spent on the T.V. is well worth it, because you will have a packed house!  While everyone is at school, you can harvest all sorts of great contact information (cell phone numbers, accurate addresses, accurate home phone numbers, etc.)  You will reap the benefits of your investment for the rest of the year!

 

*Google Language Tools – You will encounter parents that cannot speak English…don’t let that keep you from communicating with them!  Go to www.Google.com, and click on the link called “Language Tools”.  You will go to a page with a box to type a message, and a section that will ask you which language you want to translate your text into.  Once you click “Spanish” (or Portugese, Vietnamese, Russian, Mandarin Chinese, etc.) the translated message will appear in that language.  Highlight the foreign text, and “right click” on it.  Choose “copy” from the menu, and “paste” the text in an email to the parent!  Once the parent has written you back, highlight the text in their email and hit “copy”.  Paste the foreign text in your Google Language Tool box and translate it into English!  If you want to get really fancy, you can hit the “speaker button” next to the box and a person will actually pronounce the text for you so that you can learn to say it.

 

*Yahoo Text – Yes, I mentioned this earlier in the chapter…but it is so important that I am telling you about it again!  From your Yahoo email account, check the pull-down menu on the left-hand side of your “inbox” screen to make sure your chat status is “available”.  Next, click on the pull-down menu by hitting the “new” button.  Your choices will be:  new email, new chat, or new mobile text.   Click on “mobile text” and watch as a box appears in the lower left-hand corner of the screen.  Type the parent’s phone number in the slot, and type your message to them in the box.  Hit “send”!  This is so awesome!

 

Consequences of Communication Breakdown

*Student takes advantage – Most parents of struggling students take a “No News Is Good News” approach to their student’s grades and behavior.  Even parents of students who have repeated a grade have this attitude!  You have to be in constant contact with these parents to let them know that their student is not experiencing success at school.  If you are not telling parents the truth about their child, the only “news” the parents are getting are reports from the student!  Do you know what the student is saying?  “Things are going great!”

 

*Parents experience “surprise” – Eventually, the parent is going to find out that their student is not successful at school…whether it is by your phone call or finding several wadded-up report cards under their bed.  Guess who the parent is going to blame for being “in the dark” about their student’s (lack of) progress for the last few months?  Hint:  It’s not the student.

 

*Parents blame teacher – You guessed it!  The teacher is blamed.  You have to maintain communication with the parents.  There is no substitute for communication!  If parents find out too late that their student is failing, they will probably demand that you pass their student as a way of making it up to them that you dropped the ball.  If you are at fault…your Principal may instruct you to pass the student as well!  Do you want that to happen?  Don’t put yourself in that situation…find a way to communicate with parents as much as possible!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Documentation

 

The most important thing that you can do as a new teacher to cover yourself is to document as much as possible.  The trap that the new teacher falls into is not thinking that documentation is important, and neglecting to put their (and their students) actions in writing.  Keeping track of these events is vital to your survival as a teacher!  No matter how busy you become, you MUST follow these documentation techniques…they just may save you money, time, or your career!

 

          *Student information sheet – A sample student information sheet is found in a previous chapter of the New Teacher Survival Kit.  It should have the student’s address, phone number, parents’ cell phone and work numbers, email addresses, and other vital information.

 

          *Old “discipline book” sheets – A sample discipline book sheet is found in a previous chapter of the NTSK.  This sheet lists dates that the student misbehaved in your class, and actions you took to modify the student’s behavior.

 

          *Copies of discipline referrals – Every time you send a student to the office, you need to keep a copy of the referral.  The Principal or Assistant Principal should be giving you a copy, but it is prudent for you to have your own copy in case the referral is “lost” on the way to the office.  In fact, some students will not even show up to the office when you send them!  Check with your administrator to make sure the student did show up.

 

          *Samples of student work – Parents will be perplexed as to why Johnny is failing your class.  Having samples of Johnny’s work handy will help you make your case that there are some significant skill deficits that Johnny needs to work on.

 

          *Phone log – When you make phone contact, you have to record it in a phone log.  Be thorough, and list times when you attempted to make phone contact, but you left a message on the answering machine, got a busy signal, or talked to the maid and left a message.  Make sure to record the name of the person you left the message with.

 

          *Extracurricular activities attended – Keep track of all of the events you attended, because you may be accused of not being at enough activities.  You can then say, “Actually, I was at football games on September 12, September 19, and October 5.  I also attended a speech tournament on December 8, and girls’ basketball games on January 23 and February 2.”

 

          *Tutoring logs – You help numerous students during the year, but if you don’t document when you help people…its like it didn’t happen.  Keep a tutoring log that lists the names of students you tutored, when you tutored them, and a couple of concepts that you worked on with the student.  You should even keep a log of times when you were AVAILABLE to tutor students, but had no customers.  This will come in handy when the conferences with parents take place near the end of the year, and the student will accuse you of not being available to help him/her.  You can say, “Actually, I was available to tutor on March 3, 4, 5, 8, 12, 14, 15, 19, 20, 22, and 24 from 7:00 a.m. until 8:00 a.m., and from 3:30 p.m. until 5:00 p.m.  Could you not have taken advantage of my tutoring on any of those days?”

 

          *Professional development logs – You will probably have to list your hours of professional development when you are being evaluated each year.  List any and all education-related activities you were involved in, like a book study group you and your department did on Ruby Payne’s book Understanding Poverty, or a night class you took, or maybe you ordered some DVD’s on classroom management from the local library and watched them in your spare time.  Write the amount of minutes you spent on each activity.  Some states have “Career Ladder”, where you can earn extra pay for being engaged in a specific number of hours of staff development outside of your regular responsibilities.

 

          *Parent contact emails and text messages – I tell you how to text parents using your computer (not your phone) in the previous chapter.  Every time you write a parent an email or text message on your computer, you should print the correspondence and put it in your files.  This will come in handy later, when the parent accuses you of not keeping them informed about Sally’s progress in your class.

 

          *Printout materials available on teacher website – You make tons of material available to parents and students through your website…make sure you document it so that when parents accuse you of not providing any help, you can tell them about it!

 

          *Notes from faculty meetings or PLC meetings – These are important notes to refer back to.  So many things are discussed in these meetings that it is hard to keep track.  You may forget about specific policies and/or procedures that you are to follow, which would be embarrassing!  Take notes, and keep them in your files.

 

          *Notes from parent conferences – People forget what was said during parent conferences.  Not only will parents like you for taking notes during the conference (they’ll think that you value what they have to say so much that you are writing it down!)…the notes will come in handy later when “misunderstandings” happen.

 

          *Student grade printouts every six weeks – If your school or district has a computerized grade program, the grades will be stored there.  However, it is a good idea to keep printouts of report cards in student folders to show parents.  You would not believe how many report cards are “lost” on the way home from school!  To really cover yourself, require that students bring back grade cards signed by their parents…signed grade cards are worth their weight in gold (as you will discover later in this chapter).

 

          *Textbook issue sheet – The sheet should have the name of the student, the number of the book issued, the date the book was issued, and the signature of the student (signifying that he/she received the book).  Also include a column with the date you took the book back, and a column for your signature (signifying that you received the book back).  Tell students and parents that you will not sign the sheet until the book has been given back, and that students should not give you the book back until you have signed the sheet.  Here’s why:  You will have at least one (maybe more) students who give you the “I gave you the textbook back” excuse.  If you do not document, you have no proof that you didn’t get the book back.  I worked for a district where you were financially responsible for the exact number of books that the office issued you every year.  If you were a book short, you owed $54 (the cost of a new textbook).  What if you were five books short?  Do the math…it can get expensive when you don’t document!!  At this point you should smile to yourself, because I just saved you at least $20…the New Teacher Survival Kit has just paid for itself.  Congratulations!

 

The “Student Dossier”

 

You should keep a folder on EVERY student you have each year.  Yes, I realize that you may have to purchase up to 180 file folders per year (or semester)…the money spent is well worth it when you think about all of the uncomfortable situations you will avoid by documenting!  Each “Student Dossier” should be LOCKED in a file cabinet at school, and should include:

 

       *Copies of discipline referrals

 

       *Copies of communications with parents

              *Notes sent home

              *Emails and text messages

              *A synopsis of phone conversations or parent conferences

 

       *Student information sheet

 

       *Tutoring logs

 

       *Student grade printouts (that you sent home, had students get signed by parents, and returned)

 

       *For students who are frequent behavior problems, a journal should be kept by you outlining their behavior on a daily basis.

 

       *Apology letters from the student – It is great to pull out the “I, Joey Schmoe, promise to behave in Mrs. Jones’ class from now on” letter when the student misbehaves again!

 

       *Old “Discipline Book” sheets that outline specific incidents of the student’s misbehavior, and the steps you took to modify the student’s behavior.  When you finally exhaust all of your classroom discipline steps and send a student to the office, the administrator will have no choice but to take significant disciplinary action against the student because you will let the administrator know all that you have done to intervene previous to the office referral!  Teachers who do not document run the risk of having the student returned to their classroom with a “warning” from the administrator because the office staff did not know how severe the problem has become.  If you ever have had a student returned to your class (with a smirk on his/her face), you know what I mean!

 

The April Parent Meeting:

 

Every April (or so), the parent(s) of the student who has done little in your class all year (I’ll call him “Zachary Zween”) will want to meet with you to discuss why their student is doing poorly.  The parents will have several objectives they wish to accomplish during the meeting:

 

       *To tell you that the school knew that their child was failing…but they didn’t know for 30 weeks because the teacher didn’t tell them.  They never received any word from school, and they have always had a “no news is good news” policy with regards to their student.

 

       *If they had known that their child was failing…they would have made sure that the grade would have been brought up!

 

       *Since it is the teacher’s fault that they didn’t know about the failing grade, the teacher should make it up to them by letting their student make up all of his “zeroes”, turn in “extra credit”, or just give him the points he needs to pass.  It is – after all – the least the teacher could do to make up for being the cause of this mess.

 

This is where your documentation is the most valuable!  On your way to the meeting, pull the “Zachary Zween” file from your file cabinet, and confidently walk to the office.  You can pull out the copies of the grade cards you sent home (signed by the parent), copies of emails and text messages you sent to the parent telling them about Zachary’s missing assignments and poor test grades, emails and text messages telling the parents about the times you are available for tutoring, your tutoring log that has  Zachary staying for tutoring just ONE time all year, your phone log that shows you called home about Zachary’s grade seven times, et cetera, et cetera.  The red-faced parent will withdraw their request, and focus their disappointment on their student (where it belongs).  Moral of the story:  There is NO substitute for documentation!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to my free bonus chapters, entitled “Why Do We Have To Go To School?”  This “sample” e-book is designed to empower teachers as they try to educate our young people.  I am going to release a gigantic e-book that answers many of the questions that students ask, entitled “Answering The 100 Most Popular Student Questions” on January 10, 2011.  It will be available for download on my website, www.newteacherhelp.com

I have discovered during my 20 years in the field of education that students want to know “why” they have to follow certain rules.  My gift to educators (and parents) is to answer these questions in a straightforward, insightful, thorough way so that adults don’t have to take their time explaining these things to students.  My vision is that teachers will have copies of my e-book,  photocopied and organized into chapters in their file cabinet, and that they will be able to just pull out the answers to student “why” questions and hand them out when needed.

These chapters are merely a sample of my work, and I hope that you enjoy them enough to download the “100  Questions” e-book when it becomes available on January 10th.  In this free sample, I answer the three biggest questions that students ask….”Why do we have to go to school?”, “Why can’t we bring cell phones to school?”, and “Why does my teacher flip out when I show up late for class?”  I also answer a question that you, the teacher or parent, might be asking…which is “Why do I have to explain why each rule exists?”  You will notice that I don’t use charts, graphs, pictures, or fancy fonts to explain my points.  This is because I want this information in a simple format that is easy to download, print, and copy for students to use.  If you have any student “why” questions that you think should be included in my “100 Questions” e-book, drop me a line at newteacherhelp@yahoo.com.  Thanks!

 

 

 

 

Why do teachers have to explain why each rule exists?

 

Everyone remembers their time in school.  For most, it was a time of innocence, learning, and fun.  Some remember it as a painful time…filled with bullies, mean teachers, and not being part of the “cool” group.  People’s attitudes towards school remain unchanged with the passage of time, and their painful memories cloud their perception of what goes on in schools today.  This has led to the erosion of power wielded by educators, as parents have increasingly resisted the school’s attempts to make their student “conform” to the standards of behavior considered acceptable by our society in previous years.  In this article, I list the reasons why we now have to explain to students why they have to follow specific rules.

       * “Top-Down” Leadership Is A Thing Of The Past – In the “Good Ol’ Days” of business, employees complied with the rules of the office or factory, no questions asked.  If a worker had the audacity to ask why a certain rule had to be followed, the boss would reply “Because I said so!”  As time passed, workers formed unions, studies were done that showed workers were happier and more productive if they were allowed to provide input to their bosses as to how the company should be run.  Pretty soon, “collaboration” became the order of the day.  Nowadays, you would be hard pressed to find a company that uses a top-down leadership style.

       * “Because I Said So” Isn’t Good Enough Anymore – The paradigm shift in the workplace trickled its way down into the educational sector.   Remember the “Good Ol’ Days” of education?  Students complied with the rules with no questions asked.  If a student had the audacity to ask why a certain rule had to be followed, the teacher would reply “Because I said so!”  Students had no backing from their parents in this situation, the parents had the attitude that the school was always right.  One day, a movement was born that encouraged students to “Question Authority”, and fight for their rights.  The originators of the movement were convinced that many in positions of authority are corrupt.  Students were encouraged to not blindly follow their leaders…they were encouraged to question why decisions were being made a certain way.  Parents (many of whom felt that they were treated unfairly during their school career) didn’t automatically support the school when the school tried to discipline their children.  As a result, students became more and more emboldened to question why their school operated in a certain fashion….and they gradually demanded more and more of a say in their own education and disciplinary consequences.

       *The default setting on kids’ “respect” meter is “no” – In the past, students automatically respected their teachers (and other adults in their lives).  It would take a traumatic event for a student to ever lose respect for their teacher.  The default setting for student respect was in the “on” position.  In recent years, many students and their parents have come to the conclusion that students are not required to respect adults just because they are adults.  Many students believe that an adult has to “earn” their respect before they give it.  Not only do students not automatically respect the position of teacher, they do not respect police officers or other authority figures.  The reasons for this troubling development are a mystery to me, but could have something to do with TV shows and movies that belittle people in authority.  When have you seen a TV show or movie where the policeman, teacher, or principal is seen as the hero?  Most shows portray these authority figures as evil, “uncool”, dishonest, or stupid.  Another reason why adults are not respected could be because of the high divorce rate in this country.  Kids see their parents fighting, splitting up, having a new “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, or using childish tactics to hurt the other parent.  Kids’ lives are littered with adults that make empty promises or empty threats, which makes it hard for students to view their parents as a positive role model, worthy of respect.  This lack of respect for parents has led students to disrespect their teachers as well.

       *There’s a Higher Percentage Of Compliance When You Explain “Why” – For some reason, explaining why the rule exists (and why it needs to be followed) has a magical effect on students.  Maybe it is because the student has an “A-Ha!” moment when he sees the school’s point of view…maybe it is because the student respects the person enforcing the rule because the person has taken the time to explain why the rule exists.  In any event, explaining rules to students results in a higher percentage of student compliance.  Not only are more students compliant, they seem happier while complying because they know why the rule exists.

 

So why don’t we as educators explain “why” to students whenever they want to know the reason for a specific rule?

 

       *Time – It takes too much time!  You will find that the answers to students’ “Why?” questions are long and complicated.  Let me make one thing perfectly clear:  I wrote these answers for teachers not because I think that teachers do not know the answers…I know that you know!  I wrote these answers to save you time.  For you to answer every student’s question during the day, you would spend a huge chunk of time answering questions!  Because you didn’t have access to this e-book until now, your answers were hurried….like “Look, I don’t make the rules…I just have to enforce them” or “You will have to follow stupid rules when you get a job, so school is just training you for that” or the always popular “Because I said so!”

       *Focus – Answering every “why” question gets you (the Teacher) off task.  You are not going to believe this, but some students ask “why” questions just to get the class off task!  Using the answers in my e-books will keep students from hijacking your class and taking it to places you don’t want it to go!

       *Aggravation – Trying to explain to a student who doesn’t “get it” is extremely frustrating.  Save yourself the aggravation by giving the student a copy of the answer they are looking for, and ask them to bring clarification questions to you before school or after school the next day (after they have had a chance to read your answer).

       *The student already knows the answer – Some students will ask questions they already know the answer to just to try to “get your goat”.  Since answering the question is a painless procedure for you, the student doesn’t get the satisfaction of making you work.  You simply pull the answer out of the folder, and slap it on his desk.  Word will get around that you have all the answers, which will result in two outcomes:  Students who really are curious to get answers will come to you for them…and students who want to be smart-alecky will NOT ask you questions.  That’s what I call a “win-win” for you and your students.

 

How do you use the “Why” e-book?

 

       *To save time – When a student asks you a “Why?” question, you simply tell the student “See me after class and I will explain why.”  After class, you give the student a copy of the answer to their question (you could have folders in your file cabinet with answers to many of the questions students ask in a day, and you would just pull out a copy).  How much time will this save you each day?  Lots!

       *To keep your class focused – When the student asks you a “Why?” question to get you off task, simply tell the student to meet you after class, and give him a copy of the answer.  Or…you could just walk over to your file cabinet, pull out the folder with the answer, and give it to the student without missing a beat.

       *To keep parents on your side – Sometimes, parents want to know why a rule exists.  Sometimes it is because they want to challenge your authority and defend their child…sometimes it is because they want to be able to give their child the correct answer (and support YOU).  Send the answers home with the student so that the parent can support you at home.  The answers are in PDF or Microsoft Word format, so you could attach the answers to an email you send home.  If you don’t know how to attach things to your email, just highlight the answer you want to send home, hit “copy”, then “paste” it in the email and hit “send”.

*As a disciplinary consequence – A student is sent to the In-School Suspension room for violating a specific rule (talking without permission during class, for example).  While in ISS, the student could be required to copy the “Why?” answer for why it is inappropriate for students to talk without permission in class.  The ISS teacher could also require the student to answer questions about the e-book answer, find vocabulary words to investigate, or perform other tasks related to the e-book.  Here are some sample questions you could ask at the end of each “Why?” answer:

Which of the arguments for (insert school rule here) is the strongest?

Which of the arguments for (insert school rule here) is the weakest?

If you were trying to convince your friend to obey this rule, what would you tell him/her?

Does having the reasons for this rule explained to you make you more likely to obey the rule?  Why or why not?

Did your parents have this rule when they were in school?  If they didn’t, why do you think they didn’t?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do we have to go to school?

 

There are many reasons why we have to go to school.  Unfortunately, most people do not take the time to explain the reasons to our nation’s young people.  Even a search of the Internet for “Why do kids have to go to school” turns up the same, tired answers:

       * “You have to go to school to learn, so that when you grow up you will be smart.”

       * “You have to go to school to have a bright future.”

       * “People who have more education make more money in their lifetime.”

Such weak answers for such an important question!  Why hasn’t someone taken the time to REALLY explain why kids have to go to school?  That’s the subject of this chapter.  Today, I am going to give you plenty of reasons why you have to go to school.  You may agree with some of the reasons, you may disagree with others…but the bottom line is that you will finally know why you are there!

       *In the old days, education was only for the “rich” – One hundred years ago, most kids didn’t go to school.  Only the children of rich people were allowed to go.  Here’s the cycle that occurred:  Rich people have children, children go to school and become smart, smart kids get to go to college, college graduate gets high-paying job, rich person has children and the cycle repeats itself.  Poor people have children, children do not get to go to school…they instead are put to work at menial jobs like farmer, coal miner, street sweeper, etc. and make little money.  Poor child grows up, gets married, has children who are not allowed to go to school, and the cycle repeats itself.  Horace Mann (the “Father of American Education”) knew that the cycle of poverty could only be broken through the education of ALL students.  Mann called education “The Great Equalizer” in the early 1800’s.  His dream of education for all students did not become a reality until a hundred years after his death.

       *School teaches you more than just how to read and write – The things you learn in school are too numerous to list in this little ebook.  Here are a few skills you learn:  sharing, getting along with others, time management skills, listening, focusing on a particular task, memorizing facts, working in a team to produce a product, problem solving, conflict resolution, accepting constructive criticism, accepting praise, setting and accomplishing goals, learning things that you don’t necessarily think are important at the time…but learning them anyway, and patience.

       *You form friendships that will last for the rest of your life – Many of the friendships you make in school would not have happened unless you were forced to be there.  At school, you encounter students from every socio-economic level, every race, every religion, and every political affiliation.  You learn to get along with people who are different from you, and make friends with many of them.  This skill is one that you will use for the rest of your life.

       *Our economic and political system depends on you being educated – The founding fathers of our country believed that democracy would die if the citizens living in the United States were not educated.  Educated people make better decisions about who should be their representatives.  Educated people choose the person who is most qualified for the job, not the best-looking, the most popular, or the person who promises to give away the most money.  In the olden days, kings ruled countries, and made sure that their loyal subjects were NOT educated.  Kings believed that it was easier to rule over stupid people…and there were right.  Dum-dums did not question how the king ran the country, so he had absolute power over his people.  Up until the Civil War in the United States, it was against the law to teach a slave how to read and write.  This law was put in place to keep slaves powerless.  I tell my unmotivated students this story all the time:  “Martin Luther King (and thousands of other great Americans) fought and died to make it possible for ALL children in this country to have access to an education to better their lives….and THIS is how you pay them back?  Skipping school?  Not doing your homework?  Disrespecting your teachers?  Bullying your classmates?  Counting the days until you are old enough to drop out?  What would they say to you if they were alive today?”

       *Where would kids go when their parents are at work? – Let’s face facts here…most families have both parents working, and other families have only one parent (who is also at work).  If there were no schools, where would the kids go during the day?  Would we build giant amusement parks to entertain kids for eight hours a day until their parents came home from work?  Would we build huge daycare centers that charge parents a dollar an hour to take care of their children?  While we are “babysitting” everyone’s kids, don’t you think it is a good idea to educate them as well?

       *You learn a little about everything so you can make a choice about what you want to do with your life – You are taught a little math, a little science, a little social studies, a little English, and so on.  School does not make you an expert at any one thing, it gives you a shallow understanding about many different things.  Taking classes in school is like test-driving a car…you try a lot of them until you find the one that is right for you.  Sally takes biology class, and becomes really interested in animals.  She decides that she wants to be a veterinarian.  Joe enjoys his literature class, and decides to become a writer.  Billy loves math, and makes plans to become an engineer or accountant when he grows up.

       *You ARE aware of the kinds of jobs available to you if you don’t get an education….right? – Your career options are going to be SEVERELY limited if you do not get a quality education.  Do you like lifting heavy objects?  Do you like working with your hands…a lot?  The less educated members of our society are given the least-desirable jobs available.  Why does this occur?  Because the students who worked hard will be able to find jobs that pay more money, involve less manual labor, and are less dangerous.

       *Your education gives you the power to find another job when you want to – Most of the people who don’t want to go to school hate the fact that their teacher tells them what to do all the time.  Guess what?  When you get a job, your boss spends his entire day telling you what to do!  If you do not get a good education, you will be lucky to find a good job….and you will be “stuck” there because the chances of finding another good job will be slim.  How would you like to be in a situation where you are powerless to leave your job because you can’t find another one that pays as well…and you are stuck listening to your unreasonable boss for the rest of your life?  Educated people can just look for another job, find one, then tell their boss to take a long walk off a short pier.

       *A few years of hard work NOW saves you from a lifetime of hard work – Most people who hate school don’t want to work hard.  How ironic is it that lazy students end up in jobs that require the most work?  The students who work hard at school end up in jobs that don’t require heavy lifting, being in dangerous situations, or working long hours.  Students who try to take “short cuts” during school end up spending their 30-year working career in back-breaking jobs that pay little money.

       *Your parents want you to do well in school – Whether your parents are rich, poor, or middle class, they want you to do well in school.  Why?  Every parent wants their child to have a life that is better than their own, and every parent is old enough (and experienced enough) to know that a good education is the gateway to a better life.

       *If you don’t get a good education, you will live to regret it – You may not regret your choice today, you may not regret your choice tomorrow or five years from now….but you WILL regret your decision to slack off during your school years.  I have spoken with hundreds of former students who visit me from time to time.  My successful former students never say “Gosh, I wish I hadn’t tried so hard in school…I really missed out on a lot.”  They say, “Thanks for helping me do well in school, all the stuff I learned really prepared me to be successful.”  Now, let’s look at what my unsuccessful students say when they come back to visit…they never say “I am so glad I had so much fun in school!  I didn’t try hard, and didn’t learn much…but who cares!”  What they ALWAYS say is “I wish I would have tried harder in school…my life is pretty messed up right now.  I am trying to go back to school/get my GED so that I can get a job that pays better than minimum wage.”  Let me repeat this so that you can understand its importance:  You WILL regret your decision to not get a good education.

       *Money is not the answer…education is – How many people do you know that play the lottery instead of concentrating on getting a good education?  The lottery has been called “A tax on people who are bad at math”, and it’s true!  The chances of winning a significant amount of money in the lottery is about the same as getting hit by lightning twice in one day.  Just for the sake of argument, let’s say that you won the lottery tomorrow, say $10 Million.  A few years from now, you will be broke again.  “No way!” you scream.  Yes, way.  Most people who win the lottery blow all of their money in a short period of time, or have their winnings stolen from them by scam artists, relatives, or other people who know more about how to handle money than they do.  Professional athletes make millions of dollars in their careers as well, but what happens to many of them?  They end up broke.  People may be able to take your money, but they can never take away your high school diploma or college degree…it’s yours to use for the rest of your life.

       *The “What About Albert Einstein?” Argument – People who decide to quit school have a list of people who did not graduate high school who ended up leading successful lives.  They say “See!  You don’t have to have an education to be successful!”  The list includes Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Jim Carrey, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Ray Charles, Cher, Peter Jennings, Whoopi Goldberg, Dave Thomas (Founder of Wendy’s) and Rosa Parks.  Most of the people who quit school and were still successful in life were people in the entertainment industry, people who had a special talent, or inventors.  Out of the millions of people who have dropped out of school, you would be hard-pressed to find 500 successful people among them.  Your odds of winning the lottery are better!

       *The “Recidivism Cycle” – People who do not get a good education frequently end up with less money than everyone else.  The uneducated person looks around at all of their friends, friends who have cool cars, houses, cell phones, televisions, and other cool stuff and says “I deserve to have those things, too!”  Since the uneducated person cannot earn the money to buy the cool stuff, he decides to obtain the finer things in life by engaging in illegal activity.  Sooner or later, the person is caught, and is sent to prison.  When the person gets out of prison, the person may have learned his lesson.  He may want to be “straight”, and lead a normal, crime-free life.  What happens next?  The uneducated person now has a criminal record, so what chance does he have of getting a high-paying job?  Zero.  Sooner or later, the person returns to a life of crime to make ends meet, and gets caught again.  While in jail, he decides that being in jail is just “easier” than trying to survive on the outside.  The end.  We do not want you to end up like that…that is why we keep encouraging you to give school your best shot!

       *Your life will go on whether you get an education or not – You will fall in love, get married, maybe even have children.  I say, congratulations!  One problem:  How are you going to complete your education when you have a child or two at home?  You can’t afford to pay for a babysitter.  How are you going to get a better education when you are working two jobs to pay the bills?  Are you going to go at night?  Night school costs money…money that you don’t have.  You were given the opportunity to get an education FOR FREE, and you didn’t take the gift when it was given to you.  What are you going to do now?

       *Your high school diploma doesn’t prove that you know anything…and employers don’t care – Your high school diploma is a document that proves you will stick with it and accomplish a goal no matter what obstacles are in your way.  Employers are looking to hire people who are able to do that.  Quitting school and saying “I’ll just get my GED later” tells employers that you can’t be trusted to hang around during the tough times.  Why would a company spend the money to train you if you have already proven that you can’t finish your high school career?  Most companies won’t take a risk on you.

       *No matter what you THINK you will do with your life, you will need a good education – Many of you are thinking to yourselves, “I don’t have to study…I’m going to play in the NBA/NFL/MLB.”  Out of the millions of people playing sports in the world, there are only 1696 players in the NFL, only 750 players in Major League Baseball, and only 432 players in the NBA.  You have less than a 1% chance of making it as a professional athlete.  You need to make sure you have a “Plan B” in case your dream doesn’t come true.  Guess how many failed professional athletes are broke right now?  Answer:  Lots.  A good education is the ultimate Plan B.

       *Many people believe that “fate” or “luck” determines who is successful – This is not true!  Your hard work will make you successful.

       *You don’t know what “perks” are, but you will like them – People with good educations get “perks” to sign up to work with certain companies.  Perks are things like sick days (getting paid for working when you actually stayed home), company-paid medical, dental, and vision care for you and your family, two weeks or more of PAID vacation time, a retirement plan that pays you money after you quit working for the company, and much more!  Some companies want to hire the best and smartest workers, so they don’t mind giving you a car, a cool office, a secretary, or other neat stuff.  Let’s put it this way…you won’t get any of these perks while stocking shelves at the local grocery store.  If you don’t show up for work, you don’t get paid.  If you complain about your job, they fire you and bring in someone to take your place…someone who may even work for less money than you were earning.

       *Think about your kids – Your kids deserve to live in a nice house, ride in a nice car that doesn’t break down, and go to a good school.  If you don’t get a good education, the chances of these things happening for your kids is small.  Do you really want to have to tell your kids that they can’t have the latest toy or video game because you can’t afford it?  Do you really want your kids to be made fun of at school because they wear raggedy clothes?  What you do NOW affects the rest of your life…and affects your kids’ lives as well.  Don’t let them down!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why can’t we have cell phones at school?

 

There are many reasons why we shouldn’t have cell phones/MP3 players at school.

*They disrupt class – Have you ever been somewhere, trying to concentrate, and someone’s cell phone makes noise?  It is frustrating!  Many students have problems keeping focused on their work, and outside noise makes it even more difficult.  Students with MP3 players are also a problem, as they listen to their music at such a high volume it is possible to hear it from several feet away.

*They are lost or stolen – Do you have any idea how many hours are spent every day by administrators trying to find lost or stolen cell phones?  Adolescent students have a tendency to leave things lying around, and this includes their phone.  Students who cannot afford the latest and greatest gadget have no problem picking these items up and putting them in their backpack.  What makes matters worse are the angry parents (who no doubt paid large amounts of money for the gadget) understandably calling the school every half hour for “updates” on the status of their student’s phone.  Administrators become frustrated because their purpose is to help teachers present great lessons, keep a safe environment for students, and allocate district resources fairly…not solve the “mystery of the missing cell phone” numerous times per day! 

*They can be used to cheat on tests/assignments – There are a variety of ways that cell phones are used to cheat on tests and assignments.  The student in 1^st Period can take pictures of the test, and send the pictures to their friend who has the same test in 4^th Period.  The “smart” kid can text answers to others during the test, or students can text a friend who may be home “sick” (who’s at home with the textbook) to ask the answers to test questions.  It is entirely possible for a student with an internet-capable phone to look up answers to questions during the test.  There are so many possibilities for the gadget to be used to gain an unfair advantage!

*They can be used inappropriately – The internet that flows through students’ cell phones is “unfiltered”, which means that the school doesn’t have the ability to block certain inappropriate websites.  Students can visit pornographic websites, take inappropriate pictures of themselves (and others) and post them on a variety of websites, or video embarrassing moments suffered by the “dorky” kid or the teacher that everyone dislikes, and post them on YouTube.

*They can be used to spread rumors and gossip – In the old days, gossip and rumors were spread about teachers and other students by word of mouth.  Today, gossip and rumors can be transmitted to hundreds of other people at the push of a button.  Who “likes” who, who is going to fight by the bike rack after school, who said something bad about somebody’s mom….is all transmitted at the speed of light in the blink of an eye.  Students are “cyberbullied”, nasty stuff is posted on Facebook and MySpace about them, fights are instigated, then videotaped and posted on YouTube within minutes.  None of this is good for your school’s climate.

       *There are too many ways these devices can be used to disrupt school – There are ways to disrupt school using these devices that haven’t even been thought of yet!  Instead of teachers and administrators trying to keep up with all of this new technology, it is just easier to ban it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why can’t I be tardy?

 

Jeff (one of my students) asked me a question the other day:  “Why does my teacher flip out when I show up a couple of minutes late for class?  I mean, really….I was just using the bathroom!”  Here are some reasons why teachers frown on you for being tardy:

       *It is disrespectful – Being late (not only in school, but in life) is disrespectful to the people who were on time to the event.  Being late tells people that you do not value their time, because you couldn’t show up when everyone else did.  People lead busy lives, and they took time out of their day to be at the event when they were supposed to be there…you could not.  In school, your tardiness tells the teacher that you do not think her/his class is important enough to show up on time.

       *It is disruptive – Studies have found that a class can take as many as 15 minutes to refocus once it has been disrupted.  This is the reason why administrators try to limit the number of announcements and other interruptions during the school day.  When you walk in the room, everyone in the class has to look up and see who is entering the room…it is just human nature.  If you are walking by several other classrooms with open doors on your way to class after the bell, every student in every one of those classes looks to see who is walking by as well, disrupting hundreds of students.

       *We are preparing you for the world of work – I know what you are saying…“School is NOT my job!  I do not get paid!  When I get a job that pays money, THEN I will be on time.”  Unfortunately, the habits you establish in school will carry over into your career.

       *It is frustrating for the teacher – The first few times you are tardy for a particular class, the teacher probably will not say anything to you.  However, every tardy uses up “goodwill” that you have built up with the teacher.  If you participate in class, are respectful, and not disruptive…you will have a lot of goodwill in the bank to work with.  Disruptive/disrespectful students, students who don’t turn in their homework, or don’t bring their materials…you don’t have a lot of goodwill to spare.

       *It is a safety issue – When you are at school, your parents assume (and expect) that we know where you are every minute of the school day.  Therefore, when we don’t know where you are, we as educators get upset.  Where are you?  Are you in the bathroom?  Are you at the nurse?  Have you been beaten up and are bleeding in a dumpster behind the school (true story)….did you leave school grounds and walk somewhere?  Have you been kidnapped?  We don’t know, and that makes us look like we don’t know what is going on.  When I was a five years old, I became separated from my mom in the grocery store.  I looked all over the place for her, and she frantically looked all over the store for me.  When she finally found me, she hugged me…then gave me a swat on the bottom!  She was relieved that nothing bad had happened to me, but she was mad that I wandered away.  That’s kind of how your teacher feels when you are missing, then show up late.  They are happy you are O.K., but disappointed that you were at the vending machine buying a cinnamon roll instead of taking care of your school business.

       *It undermines your credibility – If you are tardy frequently (with a wide assortment of excuses), chances are your teachers will start to question your word.  There are only so many times you can use “bathroom emergency” or “female problems” before your teachers start to think you stretch the truth.  This lack of credibility can transfer over to your excuses about why you didn’t get your assignment done on time (the dog ate it?), or why you don’t have your materials (someone stole your backpack?)  Once you lose your teacher’s trust, you may never get it back.

 

 

 

 

 

Why can’t I wear my hoodie at school?

 

Some people have seen on the news that several school districts have prohibited the wearing of hooded sweatshirts (hoodies) on school grounds.  Most people’s reaction to this news is “Are you kidding me?  Why would schools make up a stupid rule like that?”  There are many reasons why you cannot wear your hoodie at school.  Some of them have to do with campus safety, some are designed to keep students from concealing their activities.  This article will list the reasons for prohibiting hoodies at school:

       *Hoodies can be used to conceal the identity of students when they engage in inappropriate or illegal behavior – When students behave inappropriately, it is important for teachers or administrators to identify the offending students, and teach appropriate behavior through the use of correction.  When students wear hoodies, they sometimes wear their hoodie over their head so that teachers/administrators cannot tell who is doing the inappropriate behavior.  Even the use of security cameras falls short when students conceal their identity in this fashion.  Students sometimes hide their faces as they walk past security cameras to “skip” class.  Parents show up to pick up their student, and their student is missing…and we as administrators do not know where their child is.  This makes for a dangerous (and embarrassing) situation for the school.

       *Hoodies can be used to conceal illegal behavior in the classroom – Many students use their hoodie to text their friends.  For example, a female student I know can look at the teacher as her hands are in the front pocket of her hoodie, texting away without even looking at her phone.  Other students put their MP3 player in their pants pocket, thread their headphone wires up through the back of their hoodie, then put their earbuds in their ears as they wear their hood over their head. 

       *Hoodies can be disruptive to the learning environment – How many times have you seen a student wearing a hoodie…minding his own business, when his friend sneaks up behind him and “hoods” him?  The friend just can’t help himself…he just HAS to pull the hood up over his friend’s head!!  Of course, the student wearing the hoodie has to chase his friend and “get him back” for doing that to him.   To many people, this is just harmless play.  To educators, it is a recipe for disaster.  “Play” usually leads to “injury”, and play in the classroom leads to class disruption and a barrier to learning.  Also, the hood seems to be a magnet for all sorts of things during the school day – crumpled up pieces of paper, pens/pencils, gum, half-eaten food during lunch, and many other objects put there by friends who want to “joke” with the student wearing the hoodie.

       *Another safety issue with hoodies is the use of them to conceal students’ arms who are “cutting” themselves.  Students who cut themselves usually do not want their cuts to be seen by adults, so they often wear a hoodie with long sleeves (or maybe a wristband) to keep their cutting a secret.  It is important for adults to be able to see students’ arms, hopefully discover the cutting problem, and get the student the help he/she needs.

As you can see, there are several good reasons why hoodies are prohibited at school.  We do not make rules just to “kill your fun”, but rules are in place to maintain a safe and orderly school environment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coaching To Survive

 

Why am I including an ebook about coaching on a new teacher website?  Most new teachers are asked to sponsor a club or coach a sport…because it is assumed that new teachers have an abundance of time on their hands.  This (of course) is not true, but it is the perception.  Another reason I am including a coaching article is because I know a little bit about the subject:  I coached football, baseball, basketball, track, and tennis at various times during my career.  The most important reason for this ebook is because new teachers are unfairly fired every year because of some mistake they made while coaching – a coaching assignment that the new teacher accepted out of the goodness of their heart…probably without receiving any training about how to be an effective coach!

 

If you bought this ebook looking for “X’s and O’s” on how to coach a particular sport, whether it is how to break a full-court press in basketball or how to implement a zone blitz in football…you bought the wrong ebook.  Those concepts are small potatoes compared to what I am going to show you in the next few pages!  I am going to help you SURVIVE as a new coach!  No one has taught new coaches the behaviors you need to keep your job as a teacher/coach – until now.

 

Before I get rolling here, let me tell you about the two types of coaches…there are teachers who coach, and there are coaches who teach.  Try to make sure you are perceived as a teacher…who coaches.  The way to do that is to not be seen watching game film while your class does worksheets, or be seen carrying your team’s playbook more often than carrying your textbook or lesson plans.  Now that I have that out of the way…let’s get to the finer points of being a teacher/coach:

 

       *Athletic Physicals – I put this first because nothing can happen until your athletes have their physical forms filled out by a doctor.  In most states, an athletic physical is valid for 365 days, so the physical that your athlete obtained when trying out for football is still valid for basketball, wrestling, and baseball.  Most schools keep athletic physicals on file in the nurse’s office, so you can access (and make copies of) them for your use.  Do NOT let any athlete play in a game, practice, or even try out for your team without an athletic physical IN YOUR HAND!  You open yourself (and your school) to liability if you do not follow this procedure 100%.  Some schools obtain the services of several doctors, who volunteer to run an “athletic physical night” during the summer or fall.  This plan is great, because dozens of your school’s athletes can get their athletic physicals taken care of, without their parents having to worry about making a doctor’s appointment, transporting them to the doctor’s office, etc.

 

       *Tryouts – Make your tryouts “closed” to the public if you can get away with it.  The reason is that parents will tell the parents of the student who didn’t make the team “Your son/daughter was awesome during the tryout…I don’t know how he/she didn’t make the team!  The coach must not like him/her.”  It is important to have a written record of how you rated each student who tried out for the sport.  When I conducted basketball tryouts, for example…I had a “scouting sheet” that had the following categories:  shooting, passing, dribbling, fitness, speed, quickness, aggressiveness, grades, and “intangibles”.  I gave each student a number from one to five (five being the highest) for each of the categories.  The twelve students with the highest total score made the team.  This sheet came in handy when I was confronted by parents of students who were cut.  I could say “Your student was really good, but he just missed by a few points.”  The sheet also gave me a way to provide input to the parent by saying, “Mr. Jones, Larry scored lowest in the “dribbling” category…have him practice that skill, and he’ll definitely be in the running to make the team next year.”

 

       *Eligibility Lists – You will have to submit an eligibility list to your athletic director or assistant principal, and it has to be accurate.  Most eligibility lists must include the student’s full name and birthdate.  Most states will have a website where this information must be submitted.  They may also have a checklist you have to fill out when a student moves into or out of your attendance zone…and the questions will have to do with “undue influence”.  Undue influence is the process of “recruiting” star athletes to your school.  Never engage in this activity!

 

       *Student Grades – You will be responsible for checking your players’ grades every six weeks (or every three weeks, depending on the state or district).  Each state is different, so check for how many “F’s” a student can have on his/her report card and still be eligible to participate.  Don’t get cute and try to sneak an ineligible player onto the field or court.  You will be sending a bad message to your team, and setting a dangerous precedent that will get you in trouble in the long run.  What if you bend the rules for the “star”, but crack down on the second-stringer?  The stories of your unfairness and inconsistency will become legend (the stories will be embellished be each person who re-tells it), and will end up being told to the wrong person eventually…resulting in bad things happening to you and your program.  One more thing:  NEVER try to pressure a teacher to change a grade for one of your players!  Your player had the opportunity to keep her grades up and remain eligible, but she dropped the ball.  Even ASKING a teacher to consider changing grades to keep an athlete eligible will cast a shadow over your program for years.

 

       *Bus Requests – The minute you get your team’s schedule, grab a handful of bus request forms, and fill them out for each of your “away” games.  Turn your completed bus requests in to your district’s transportation department.  It is very embarrassing to have your team ready to play, but not have a bus to get to the game.

 

       *Build Your Program – You may be selected to coach a sport that has had low participation over the years…that’s usually where they stick the new person.  Make a great first impression by getting students excited about your sport.  Use the relationships you build in your classroom to raise awareness and “plant a seed” in students’ minds about the upcoming season.  Recruit students who other students see as “cool” or is a leader in the school. 

 

If you coach at the high school level, ask if you can meet with kids at the middle school who may be interested.  You may even want to offer a “camp” or “open gym” where you can get to see potential players in action before tryouts.  The disadvantage of picking players at a three-day tryout is that the community has seen these kids play for years, and the “pecking order” has been established way before your tryout takes place.  If you live in a small town, the community has already visualized what the team should look like…and they will voice their opinion if your idea is different from theirs.  Having an opportunity to observe your future players before the tryout will help you select the “right” players for your program.

 

       *Heat/Cold/Lightning/Water Breaks – Your state will have a website that gives you guidelines for these situations.

 

       *Cold – The “macho” athlete will not dress warmly in cold weather, usually to demonstrate their “toughness”, or try to gain a mental edge on their opponent.  You, as coach, should be the voice of reason during cold-weather sporting events.  Encourage your athletes to use common sense when preparing to play in the cold.  Here’s what a doctor has to say about it:

http://sportsmedicine.about.com/cs/environment/a/aa121100a.htm

 

       *Lightning – As soon as you hear thunder, you need to get your team into a safe building.  There have been incidents where lightning has struck players and coaches, resulting in fatalities.  Guidelines about what to do can be found at: 

http://www.lightningsafety.noaa.gov/outdoors.htm

 

       *Heat & water breaks – Players in college and pro sports have collapsed and died during workouts.  Do not let that happen to your players!  Put together a plan with your fellow coaches to make sure players are hydrated before, during, and after vigorous physical activity.  The National Association of Athletic Trainers has this to say about heat-related illness during physical activity:

http://www.nata.org/newsrelease/archives/000618.htm

 

              *Wrestling – The potential for disaster is so great in this sport, I gave it special attention.  The danger is not so much on the mat…it’s when members of your team are trying to “make weight” by putting themselves through grueling workouts in rubberized suits to lose large amounts of weight quickly.  You need to discourage this practice as much as possible!

 

              *Ephedra – Warn your athletes about the use of any products that contain ephedra.  Ephedra has been associated with two heat stroke deaths in athletes recently.  Ephedra speeds metabolism and increases body heat, constricts the blood vessels in the skin preventing the body from cooling itself, and by making the user feel more energetic it keeps him/her from exercising longer when they should stop.  Do not use ephedra or ephedra products!

 

       *The Bus – Most of the time, all of the coaches will sit in the front seat of the bus, and chat.  This is a dangerous situation, because all sorts of bad things are happening at the back of the bus…especially coming home from night games!  If two coaches are on the bus, one should be in the middle, and one in the back.  The driver can easily monitor the front three or four seats.  If three coaches are on the bus, one should be in front, one in the middle, and one in the back.  When I say “back”, I don’t mean the very back seat…sit two or three seats from the back.  That way, you can turn around in your seat to monitor the very back of the bus, yet still be able to see what’s going on two or three seats in front of you.

 

       *Injuries – It is inevitable that one of your players will get injured during the course of practice or game action.  For an introduction showing you how to handle all of the potential situations you will encounter, visit this website:

http://sportsmedicine.about.com/od/paininjury1/u/Injuries.htm

 

              *Emergency Card – Some districts use these cards, which are laminated and kept by every coach, athletic/activities director, and student manager in case of emergency.  The front side of the card has the following info:

                     Emergency Numbers

                     *Doctor/Paramedics Phone #:

                     *Fire Department:

                     *Police Department:

                     *School District Transportation Department:

                     *Principal:

                     *Boys’ Athletic Director:

                     *Girls’ Athletic Director:

                     *Activities Director:

                     *Athletic Trainer:

 

                     Information for Paramedics:

                     *Your Name:

                     *School Phone Number:

                     *School Street Address:

                     *City, State, Zip Code:

                     *Directions for Entering Campus:

                     *Type of Injury:

 

                     *The back of the card includes procedural information:

                     *A responsible person MUST stay with the injured student.

                     *Do not move a seriously-injured student, especially with a back or neck injury.

                     *A responsible person should call Paramedics/Fire Department IMMEDIATELY.  Have a responsible person meet unit at the entrance to the school.  (See reverse side for information.)

                     *Have athlete’s Emergency Card ready.

                     *Contact parents as soon as possible.

                     *Contact Athletic Director.

                     *Send a “Return to Competition” form with the person accompanying the injured student.

 

                   *Emergency Card – You need to have your athletes fill out an emergency card before they participate in a practice or game.  The emergency card should have the player’s home phone number, parents’ cell phone numbers, and several “emergency” numbers.  The sheet should also have the student’s health insurance policy number and group number, and drug allergies.

 

              *First aid kit – You need a fully stocked first aid kit.  These items should be available to you and your staff at all practices and games:

                     *Air Way

                     *Bolt cutter and/or small carpet blade (Football only)

                     *Crutches

                     *Drinking fluids in adequate amounts

                     *Elastic wraps (4” and 6”)

                     *Foam padding, ½” thick for pressure bandage – minimum 4” x 4”

                     *Gauze pads, 4” x 4” – sterile

                     *Ice

                     *Jaw wedge

                     *Scissors, bandage type

                     *Stretcher and spineboard (or hook combination)

                     *Splints, minimum 1 arm and 1 leg

                     *Tape, 1 ½”

                     *Towels, cloth/bath (minimum 2)

                     *Sling psychrometer

                     *Latex gloves

                     *Appropriate bodily fluid/blood disposal container

                     * “Return to Competition” forms

                     *A copy of every student’s emergency card

                     *A copy of every student’s physical form

 

              *First aid/CPR certification – In order to coach in most states, you need to be first aid/CPR certified.  Your district will have information on the times, dates, and locations of first aid training sessions in your area.

 

              *Worst case scenario – You are at a game, and one of your players is injured.  You look for the student’s parents in the crowd, and they are not at the game.  You try to contact the parents using the numbers on your player’s “emergency card”…and no one is answering.  You have to make a decision to take your player to the hospital, or not.  In this situation, I would advise you to err on the side of caution.  If you think that the player needs medical attention, get the player to the hospital as soon as possible.  I look at it this way:  If the student didn’t really need to go to the hospital, I would offer to pay the insurance deductible if the parents were upset that I made the decision to go (that happened to me one time in 9 years of coaching various sports).  At worst, you could be out $100.  Let’s look at the other side…what if you decide to NOT take the player to the hospital, and the player really needed medical attention?  Your legal fees will be significantly more than $100…wouldn’t they?  Please remember this…I am not a doctor (or a lawyer), just an ex-coach.  I’m just telling you what I would do in that situation.

 

       *Physical Contact With Players – There is no excuse for this.  In the olden days, coaches used to slap players or yank on their face masks to “get the player’s attention”.  Coaches used to grab players’ arms and yank them around to put them in the proper position during scrimmages or practices.  This is not acceptable anymore.

 

The same goes for coaches who are “screamers”.  When I was in school, I had numerous coaches (and teachers) who were screamers.  I don’t know when this happened, but it somehow became unacceptable for coaches to yell at their players.  That’s O.K., because screamers have a short “shelf life” in the coaching profession.  Screaming at your players is effective for awhile, but the screaming loses its effectiveness over time.  In the end, the coach has to be more and more outrageous to keep his players’ attention and respect, until he “crosses the line” one day.

 

       *Game Management – You have to be smart about the “little things” that go on during a game.

 

              *Team placement during games – In football, you should have your team inhabit the sideline that is on the OPPOSITE side of the field as your fans.  Why?  Your fans won’t hear you “coaching” the team on the sidelines during the game and during timeouts.  Your fans also won’t hear the inappropriate language your players may let “slip out” when coming off the field after a turnover or other negative play.  You also avoid having parents “coach” their child during the game, or yell at you for not putting their child in the game during a blowout.

 

              *Timeouts – During a timeout, pull your team out onto the field (or floor) so that you put some distance between you and the spectators.  You don’t want them eavesdropping on your conversations with your players.

 

              *The crowd – You will hear all sorts of comments made about you coming out of the crowd.  The crowd will comment on your coaching abilities, your decisions, who’s getting playing time, your personal appearance, and miscellaneous other topics.  Under NO circumstances should you acknowledge or respond to anything the crowd says.  All that does is give the loudmouth(s) the satisfaction of knowing that you heard what they said.

 

       *Playing Time – You will have to face an angry parent on more than one occasion during your coaching career.  It doesn’t matter what level you are coaching (or what sport), playing time is always an issue.  In a perfect world, you would be able to win every game, and make sure that every player gets the chance to play an equal amount.  This, of course, is impossible.  As a result, coaches have to weigh the importance of winning against the importance of making sure that everyone plays the same amount of time.  In the end…the best players will play the most, and the weaker players will play less.  Most parents will “get it”…but some won’t.  In this era of “everyone gets a trophy”, some parents will still think you are running an “all play” team.

 

If there is a rule of thumb about playing time, it’s this:  Winning takes on added importance if you are coaching an “A” team, equalizing playing time is more important on a “B” team.  At the high school level, winning is more important on a “varsity” team…and equalizing playing time is more important on a “junior varsity” team.  If you are coaching at the middle school or junior varsity level, what you are basically doing is ensuring “maximum participation” of athletes in a particular sport, and keeping as many athletes interested as possible.  Kids mature and develop at different rates, and the poor/weak player in 7^th Grade may develop into a star when she/he makes it to high school.  How would it make you look if that player quits the sport before high school because she/he was kept from playing by you?  Because you wanted to crush your opponent in a 7^th Grade “B” team volleyball game?  Keep your focus on the long-term goals of your program!

 

       *Public Relations – In order to grow your program, it needs media exposure.  You may be coaching a sport that is not a “mainstream” sport in your town (lacrosse, swimming, wrestling to name a few) and your town’s sports reporter may not report on your sport because of his limited knowledge of how the sport is played.  You may need to write articles yourself and submit them to the newspaper to be published.  Have someone take pictures as well!  As a middle school coach, I found that my town’s newspaper didn’t have the budget to cover middle school sports.  They were grateful that I provided them with articles and pictures.

 

Your hometown newspaper may not want to cover your team.  That’s O.K., just start a blog!  You can start a blog for free at www.blogger.com or www.wordpress.com, and post stories and pictures about your team that way!  You won’t have to worry about promoting your site…your players and their families will take care of that.

 

       *Equipment – You have to keep track of all of the equipment and uniforms that you issue to students.  If you don’t keep track, you will find that the equipment “disappears” little by little every year.  Make a “sign out” sheet for all of your equipment that players must sign at the beginning of the year, and when they turn their equipment back in to you at the end of the season.

 

       *The Locker Room – If you don’t monitor the locker room, you will find that many inappropriate things will start to happen there.  Equipment will disappear, and older/bigger students will try to “haze” the smaller/younger students.  You cannot tolerate hazing of any kind.  If you aren’t monitoring the locker room every minute, outrageous stories about what takes place in your locker room will filter out into the community (and be embellished by people who re-tell the tales).  Parents will hear the stories and ask “where was the coach when this was happening?”

 

       *Read the Rule Book – Every state is different, so read your state’s rule book (either online or in “real book” form) before your sport’s season starts.  In my state, for example, football players cannot wear full pads for the first three days of practice.  They can only wear shoulder pads, jersey, shoes, and shorts.  This rule’s intent is to give coaches an opportunity to work on physical conditioning, and to get their players acclimated to the heat prior to putting on full pads.  Every state and every sport has an obscure rule or two, so make sure you read them all!

 

       *Your Coaching Style – You need to develop your own style.  Most coaches develop their style based on the styles of several coaches they had when they played, or the styles of famous coaches that they admire.  There’s nothing wrong with that…unless you claim the coach’s ideas as your own.  For example, you can use the late, great, John Wooden’s “Pyramid of Success” with your players, just make sure you let everyone know that the idea was Wooden’s – not yours.  Here are some suggestions of coaching traits to NOT have:  constantly yelling at players or the officials, using sarcasm with players, throwing things or breaking stuff during your halftime speech, playing mind games with players to “motivate” them, and yanking players out of the game in an attempt to “make an example” out of them for not playing the game the way you would like.

 

Successful coaches are usually positive, honest, and earn their players’ respect.  Successful coaches do not motivate by fear…players are instead fearful of disappointing the coach they respect so much.  These coaches are patient, and see players’ mistakes as an opportunity to learn how to play the game better.  These are not ALL of the traits of successful coaches, but that’s enough to get you started on the right foot.

 

       *Career Killers – So, to review…here are situations you need to avoid at all costs!

              *Confrontation with a parent

              *Encouraging your players to break the rules

              *Using an ineligible player

              *Making physical contact with a player

              *Players engaged in hazing

              *Heat/cold/lightning/dehydration related injury or death

              *Improperly treating a player’s injury

 

       *Getting Out – You may not feel that coaching is your passion.  You may have agreed to coach a sport because of some obligation to the school that gave you your first job.  Don’t make the mistake of trying to get out after only one year, however.  It will look like you just took the coaching position to get a teaching job.  Stick it out for two or three years, then ask to “concentrate on your teaching responsibilities” if you haven’t developed a passion for the coaching job.  You never know…after a couple more years of coaching, you may grow to love your extracurricular position!

 

       *Cheerleading – I have saved the most important coaching information for last.  The most difficult coaching assignment of them all is the position of cheer coach.  This chapter of my ebook helps new coaches deal with all of the potential pitfalls facing the cheer coach.

 

              *Safety – Did you know that there are more injuries (per capita) happening to cheerleaders than football players?  It is true!  To limit injuries, you need to keep your cheerleaders from doing dangerous stunts.  Your #1 priority as cheer coach is to make sure that no one suffers a serious injury during the year.  Everything else takes a back seat.  You are a new teacher, and you do not have the training to keep your cheerleaders safe.  Your cheerleaders will try to talk you into integrating dangerous stunts into their routines…do not let them!

 

              *Sportsmanship – Your squad should do cheers to encourage your school’s team…not put down or belittle the opponents.  The behavior of a school’s cheerleaders sheds light on what kind of school they represent.  I’ll never forget the behavior of cheerleaders from our neighboring town a few years ago.  They used to “cough” or “sneeze” while players from opposing teams shot their free throws.  I am not sure which was worse…the fact that the cheerleaders conducted themselves in such a manner, or that the cheer coach or administrator on duty didn’t correct them.

 

              *Modesty – Your cheerleaders will try to convince you to integrate some “questionable” dance moves into their halftime routine.  Err on the side of caution!  You will much rather be known as the coach who regulated her squad…rather than the coach who is known for letting her girls choreograph any move they want.

 

              *Drama – You are the leader of a group of teenagers…of course there is going to be drama!  It is tempting to participate in discussions with your cheerleaders that deal with personal issues, but don’t do it!  As a new teacher/coach, you see these personal conversations as a way to build relationships with your students, and this is true (to a certain extent).  However, gossiping with your cheer team about student relationships, who’s pregnant, or what happened at last weekend’s party paints you as unprofessional.  Don’t cross the line, because once you do…there’s no going back!

 

I hope you have enjoyed my ebook, and it is my wish that it helps you become a great coach and role model to students.  If there is an issue that you encounter that has not been addressed here, feel free to email me at newteacherhelp@yahoo.com and I will attempt to answer the question for you.  Put the code “Thinking Chair” in the subject line of the email so that I know a paying customer needs assistance.  Good luck as you begin your coaching career!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I Don’t Know What To Do With Sarah”

 

While reading this report, you will probably notice that I don’t really know who to direct this information to!  I start out instructing teachers what to tell parents who are being driven crazy by their child…then shift into a mode where I am giving the parents direct instructions about what to do with their disrespectful student.  I am trying to direct this message to everyone, because I don’t want anyone to be left out…searching for answers.  I think any adult can benefit from this information – it’s that powerful!  With that said, it’s time to start helping you find effective techniques to deal with your challenging child:

 

You will encounter a parent (probably several parents) during your first year of teaching that has no control over their child.  You will tell the parent that their child doesn’t do her homework, is disrespectful/disruptive in class, and may not pass unless she straightens herself out.  The parent will look you straight in the eye and say, “I know, she is the same way at home.  I have no clue what to do with her.  She doesn’t do anything we ask her to do, she stays out late without telling us where she is going, she calls me names and uses profanity towards me…is there anything you can do to help?”  Most of the time, the parent will cry during her story.  I have heard the story hundreds of times in my career, and it upsets me every time.  The conduct of your student is not only making the student’s life miserable, it is having a negative effect on every member of the student’s family.  You only have to put up with her behavior for an hour a day, five times a week.  Imagine dealing with her 24/7!

 

For the first few years of my career, I had no answers.  I would say things like, “Just continue to love her, maybe she’ll grow out of it” or “I was pretty rambunctious when I was her age, and I turned out O.K.”…knowing in my heart that the damage had already been done to this child.  During my sixth year of teaching, I met and befriended a man who ran a juvenile detention facility.  I told him about my helplessness when confronted by parents at the end of their rope.  He laughed and said that he knew of only one way to turn around a young person’s life and regain parental authority.  He called it the “Level System”.

 

Unruly children begin at “Level Zero”, which means that they have zero privileges.  The student’s room is stripped of everything except a bed.  What about their dresser?  Gone.  Phone?  Gone.  The same goes for the computer, video games, T.V., cell phone, radio, iPod, MP3 player, food, and drink.  Male students will receive a haircut…female students will have their hair styled the way the parent deems appropriate.  Piercings are taken out at the parent’s discretion.  The parent is to say this to the child:  “You have demonstrated through your actions that you cannot handle the level of freedom that I have bestowed upon you.  From now on, you are going to have to earn your freedoms and privileges one by one.”

 

The student is placed on a strict schedule, which may look something like this:

 

School Day

7:00 a.m. – Wake up

7:15 – Shower/breakfast

8:00 – Go to school

3:00 – Come home from school

3:00-5:30 – Homework/reading

5:30-6:00 – Supper

6:00-6:30 – Clean up kitchen

6:30-8:30 – Homework/reading

8:30-9:00 – Get ready for bed

9:00 p.m. – Lights Out

 

Holiday/Weekend Schedule

9:00 a.m. – Wake up

9:15-10:00 – Breakfast/shower

10:00-12:00 – Chores

12:00-1:00 – Lunch

1:00-3:00 – Chores

3:00-5:00 – Homework/reading

5:30-6:30 – Supper

6:30-7:00 – Clean up kitchen

7:00-9:00 – “Free Time” (if the student has earned it)

9:00 p.m. – Lights Out

 

The student wakes up in the morning, and finds his/her outfit laid out on the floor, chosen by the parent.  But what about my “Insane Clown Posse” shirt, sagging pants, and boxer shorts?  Gone…the parent is in control now.

 

At this point, the parent is thinking “Isn’t this going to be inconvenient?  I am keeping all of my child’s belongings in my room (or the garage) and I am monitoring my child’s every move!”  At this point, I would say “Is it inconvenient to have to drive to your child’s school to have parent conferences with your child’s teachers or principal?  Is it inconvenient to go to the police station to pick your child up after they have been picked up for committing a crime?  Is it inconvenient to drive around town looking for your child when you don’t know where she is?  Is it inconvenient for your child to repeat a grade?  What about raising a child that has to live at home into adulthood because she doesn’t have the education or job skills to be employed?  Is it inconvenient to raise a child conceived by your child because your child cannot take care of a child by herself?”  In comparison to these inconveniences, using the Level System to correct your child’s behavior is not inconvenient at all!

 

Once the child’s room has been stripped, the child can make out several 3x5 cards with privileges she would like to earn back.  Some examples would be:  one hour of “free time” each day, one hour of “T.V. Time” each day, get phone back, get iPod back, privilege of choosing outfit to wear to school, ability to choose hairstyle, ability to visit a friend’s house for one hour, privilege of going on a walk for one hour.

 

The child can earn a privilege back if she meets your requirements for good behavior for a certain period of time.  I usually use a week as a good measuring stick.  If the student doesn’t get in trouble at school for a week, she can ask for one of her privileges back.  If she earns one back, she then is considered at “Level One” status.  She may bring home a report card with no “F’s” on it.  That would be cause for celebration and a bump up to Level Two.  Another week goes by, and you notice that she has not called you a vulgar name…Level Three!  Now she has earned three privileges back!  Your child is gaining confidence in herself, and is setting a goal to move up the ladder of levels until she earns all of her previous status back.

 

On the flip side, you are in control of what happens when the child slips back into her old ways.  If the infraction is considered minor, you might choose to remove only one privilege.  If the transgression is serious, you may move the child back to Level Zero again and repeat the process.  The important thing to remember is that the parent is in control, not the student!

 

Oh, but the student will try to regain control!  The student is the king/queen of manipulation…and will try some of these tactics to regain the upper hand:

 

“If you try to enforce this stupid plan on me, I will report you for abuse.” – Millions of kids nationwide use this on their parents, and many of them are successful.  Parents cannot live their lives in fear of having their kids taken away.  The parent should reply to this threat by saying “I would rather have the state raise you right, because I’m doing it all wrong.  If you won’t let me do what I need to do to bring you up properly, it would be better for all of us in the long run if you were raised by someone else.”  Yes…I know that it sounds harsh, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  Parents cannot continue to let their kids call the shots by using this trick!

 

“If you try to enforce this stupid plan on me, I will go live with Dad.” – Many divorced parents are threatened by their children with this ultimatum on a daily basis.  Parents should call their child’s bluff with either of these two replies:  “You can go live with Dad, but you will not be welcome back here when things go wrong there.”  Or, “You can go live with Dad, but when you request to come back here after things go wrong, you will be on ‘Level Zero’ with me.  You will have to earn your privileges back if you are going to live in this house.”

 

“If you try to enforce this stupid plan on me, I will just refuse to go to school.” – This is actually an easy problem to solve.  The parent needs to call the juvenile justice authorities.  “But I don’t want my child to have a criminal record!”, the parent will cry.  The problem is that the student is SURE to have a criminal record if the parent continues to let the student manipulate the parents...and the criminal record will be for something way more substantial than truancy.  Quit living in denial and face the facts…the sooner that the child discovers that you are serious, the better.

 

“If you try to enforce this stupid plan on me…I am going to kill myself!” – Thousands of kids use this type of emotional blackmail on their parents on any given day, and experience a lot of success doing it.  Most parents don’t really think that their child will kill themselves…but they don’t want to take the chance.  What would everyone think of me if my child ACTUALLY killed herself!  It is a scenario that no one wants to think about.  So, parents take the easy way out, and let their child get away with murder instead.  What the parent fails to realize is that the child IS killing herself…just in a different way – through drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, unprotected sex, and other reckless behaviors.  The parent needs to realize that the child’s best chance to actually LIVE her life is to submit to parental authority.

 

“If you try to enforce this stupid plan on me…it must mean that you hate me!” – Kids just don’t get it sometimes!  Luckily, you are the adult, and realize that the best way to show your love to your child is to raise them right.  The hard part is convincing the child that letting kids do whatever they want is the worst way to raise a child, and the way to set a person up for a life of sadness and heartache.  Kids who are raised with no boundaries grow up to be adults who are never satisfied with what they have or where they are.  They usually do not grasp the importance of getting a good education, and are more interested in instant gratification rather than setting goals and working to achieve them.  The parent should ask the child to trust them, and be confident that their parent is acting in their best interest.

 

What many people find hard to believe (but research proves it to be true) is that students crave structure in their lives.  They may SAY they don’t want structure, but they secretly do.  Structure helps young people make sense of what is going on in their world.  Students who are not provided with structure engage in unproductive behaviors (at best) and self-destructive behaviors (at worst).  How many young people have been saved from an unproductive life by our nation’s military?  Thousands of directionless youngsters join our service academies every year, and blossom into successful, productive members of society because they find the structure that was missing in their lives. 

 

Why does structure provide such a turnaround for kids?  It works because it is provided by someone who cares about them.  I tell my students all the time that it is easy for parents to let their kids run the streets doing anything they want, not caring enough to confront them and show them the right path.  The REAL way that parents show their children that they care is to furnish structure, guidelines, expectations, and consequences for them.  The ironic part is that kids know that to be true as well, even though they will never say it.

 

The reason why I know that they know it is true is because of gangs.  Gangs are spreading across the United States because kids who don’t receive structure from their own family will find it with their adopted family.  In fact, most gang kids I talk to consider their gang their REAL family.  The structure that the gang provides is absolute…the rules are to be followed, and there are no exceptions to the rules.  You must “jump in”, you must do what your superiors tell you to do, and there are consequences for “snitching” or otherwise failing to follow directions.  The gang also provides the student with protection, and a sense of belonging.

 

You would not believe the number of parents who think that moving to another town will solve the problem of an unruly child.  “When we move…Nikki will not be able to hang out with the wrong crowd…she can start over.”  Here’s the problem…Nikki will hang out with the same “wrong crowd” in your new town unless you address the real problem, which is Nikki herself.  Schools are made up of cliques…the cheerleaders, the jocks, the stoners, the gangsters, the band members, the choir kids, the drama club, the skaters, and the honor students.  New kids are steered into the proper clique based on their behavior and appearance.  You have to CHANGE Nikki, not just move the same Nikki to a new location.   

 

So how do you go about changing your child?  Good question!  The younger the child is, the better the chance that you will change her.  Your chances of changing a 17 year-old are not as good as changing a 10 year-old.  Here are some ways to change your child from the inside out:

       *Limit the lines of communication your child has with the outside world – You think that you are keeping your son Jeff from communicating with his friends, but he texts them all night via his cell phone, and he has a computer in his room for “homework” purposes (although he tells you that he never has homework).  Get the computer and T.V. out of his room, and confiscate the cell phone at 9 p.m.  When the lines of communication are removed, the strong bonds your child has with his friends will weaken.

       *Monitor your child’s activities – Many parents say that they are at work, and therefore unable to keep track of what their child is doing when they are away.  They should invest in a web cam to keep an eye on their child.  Some cameras are as little as $30.  A student on Level Zero should be required to sit at the kitchen table, under the camera, doing homework or reading until the parent comes home.  You can see what your student is doing by way of your work computer, or even your cell phone if it has internet capabilities.

       *Incentives – Most teens have one thing on their minds at all times…”What’s in it for me?”  If your student sees his situation as hopeless, then he will shut down.  Try to find something that the child has done right, and reward him for it.  Don’t go overboard and let him have all his privileges back because of one good deed, but let him have something he wants as a boost to his spirits.

       *Consistency – Let’s face it…a lack of consistency has put us in this bad situation, right?  The parent has to stick to the plan, and not let the relationship revert back to “normal” after a short period of time.  The student may even cry, admit guilt, and apologize for his actions in order to mend fences with the parent.  DO NOT FALL FOR IT!  This is manipulation!  The parent should tell the student that this discipline plan is for the good of everyone in the family, and that it will help the family become stronger in the long run.

       *Family Dinner – This is difficult, considering there are so many parents working in the 21^st Century.  I have been there, believe me!  You come home from work, exhausted…so the easy way out is to bring home a pizza, order food to be delivered, or let everyone microwave their own meal to eat in their room or on the couch.  To change this, you will have to set a specific family dinner time, and require all family members to be present at that time.  Serve the meal, and engage in conversation with the kids about what their day was like.  It is amazing what can happen to a family when they eat just one meal a day together!

       *Get the Child Involved in Something! – The parent must find something that the student is interested in, and help the student pursue that interest.  The theory is that a busy child doesn’t have time to get into trouble.  I have read several articles recently warning against “overscheduling” children into too many outside activities.  I say overscheduling is way better than having a student with too much time on his/her hands!

 

How can this plan fail?  There are many ways that your plan to get your child under control can fail…here are a few mindsets that lead to disaster:

       *Implementing this plan without investing time into your relationship with the child – Remember, this plan only works because the child sees the structure implemented by someone who CARES about them as a person.  Spend time interacting with your child – do homework together (look up answers on the computer if you are unsure or uncomfortable about doing the work yourself), look through old photo albums together, play video games, wash the car, cut the grass, clean the house…do something as a team.  You can’t punish your child, then refuse to acknowledge that they are alive.  Your efforts to discipline the child will backfire.

       *Have the attitude “I can’t search Jimmy’s room…it would violate his privacy.” – You can’t give Jimmy rights that he hasn’t earned, because it will just encourage Jimmy to demand more rights.  You own the house, YOU make the rules.  I am an assistant principal at a middle school, and I require students to sit in assigned seats at lunch from Day One at school.  Why?  Because they haven’t earned the right to sit where they want (and there is no law or policy stating that students have the right to sit where they choose.)  After a couple of weeks of good behavior, I then give students the freedom to sit at any table.  Their behavior is great because they police their own behavior!  If anyone acts up, the other students say, “Cool it!  Do you really want to go back to sitting in assigned seats?”  Controlling a cafeteria full of 300 teenagers becomes easy at that point.  YOU can have the same success!

       * “I am afraid of my child” – If you feel this way, I am afraid that I cannot help you.

       *Telling your child “I hate you” or other hurtful statements during a fight – Even if you apologize later, and explain why you said such hurtful and damaging things during arguments/power struggles with your child…the damage has been done.

 

There are so many ways to get your child under control again, I don’t have enough room in this report to list them all.  Luckily, you are now signed up to receive my newsletter, and I will send you additional strategies periodically that will help you gain control of your house again, build a strong relationship with your children, and raise happy, well-adjusted, responsible kids!  If you are having trouble downloading this report, simply email me at newteacherhelp@yahoo.com and I will send the report as a PDF or Microsoft Word attachment. 

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed reading all of my free gifts to help you survive in the classroom.  You can encourage your Principal to sign up for my “Administrator’s Newsletter” at http://bit.ly//freeprincipalstuff where I have tons of free content for administrators.  I also produce a free  newsletter for parents if they would like to sign up at this address:

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Thank you!