Kids Stopping Bullies

Kids Stopping Kids From Bullying:  The Birth of A Middle School Intervention

 

Some of the most common forms of bullying involve physical intimidation, verbal insults, mental abuse, racial, and sexual slurs.  Students who want and need friends often bully innocent students for the attention that comes with being feared.  Any attention is good attention in their minds. The bully needs to have other students see them bullying.  Bullies have not been taught how to socialize using functional interpersonal behaviors.  They are no accident.  They learn dysfunctional behavior patterns in dysfunctional homes or no homes at all. Tragically, the crime of the bully is not just in the episode. The crime extends to the time and energy stolen from the victim through the constant worry, the knotted stomach and the awful humiliation of not knowing what to do.   Our Conflict-Violence Prevention Sessions with volunteer students has convinced me that bullying can be controlled and minimized if mature students are put in a leadership role and given serious opportunities to improve student life and their own behaviors.

 

Conflict and Violence Prevention Group

 

I saw a motivational video on Edutopia.  The presenter was Michael Pritchard (http://www.edutopia.org/michael-pritchard-lessons-heart).  In the video clip, Mr. Pritchard talks with students about bullying and asks students who have been bullies to talk about why they do it.  He also asked students who had been bullied to talk about what it felt like to be bullied.  I was moved by the presentation and decided to form a conflict resolution/violence prevention group. The group initially included six volunteer 8th grade girls.  We met during the school lunch period 5 days a week.  I told them that we would discuss witnessed episodes of bullying and conflict. They had the personal and social maturity to understand how bullying was negatively effecting them, their classmates and school climate.  Several had been bullied and they too had done some of the bullying.  My plan was for the students in the lunch group to discuss the best ways to identify bullying and help victims.  These girls quickly became school anti-bully leaders. Boys soon joined the group.  Their participation is very important to the process.   Both the girls and boys in this “bully prevention lunch group” wanted to stop the conflicts and, as it turned out, share their feelings on the matter.

 

How the Conflict-Violence Prevention Sessions Were Structured in the Beginning

 

Students come to my classroom with their lunches.  The lunch session has three phases:  1) Sharing; 2) Strategies for Positive Change; and 3) Stories and Examples of Conflict Resolution.  In the “Sharing Phase”, I mostly listen and moderate.  The students talk.  We also eat our lunch!  They usually start by recounting a story of bullying in the school.  In the “Strategies Phase,” we discuss interventions that might work.  For example, approaching victims and telling that they are not alone and that there are good people in school who will help them.  In the “Stories and Examples of Resolution Phase” we discuss successful interventions.  These sessions are very special.  Everyone listens.  They take turns talking.  There are no management problems.  I hear stories that I would probably not hear under any other circumstances.  They offer solutions.  I try to shape their patterns of conflict resolution. I see the relief in their eyes as they share and learn how to solve immediate problems and make a difference in their school.

 

Video Recording and School-Wide Distribution of Sessions

 

William Steelnack, the Video Production teacher of our school, was invited to tape a “Round Table Discussion” with the six original volunteer eighth grade girls.  In the taped discussion, we asked these student’s questions like;  “What types of conflict/bullying have you seen at school?”  “What types of bullying have girls engaged in?”  “What types of bullying have boys engaged in?”  “What starts conflict?”  How best can students solve these differences peacefully?”  Individual and group responses to these questions displayed a level of honesty that made the subsequent video production riveting.

 

The “Round Table Discussions” broadcasts over our school’s TV channel, “WPGM”, to every classroom during a once a month, Tuesday mid-day homeroom session. The initial shockwave it sent through the school could be felt months later.  More students have joined the group since the airing of the discussion and more continue to look for positive ways to solve differences through functional conflict resolution.  On a weekly basis student members report stories of how they have intervened in conflicts and found positive solutions.

 

Students may be uncomfortable talking with teachers about being bullied.  They may have trouble talking about this at home.  But, they seem to be very comfortable talking with older peers.  Students see bullying in the hallways, locker rooms, cafeteria and school buses, places teachers will never see.  The initiative of the Conflict-Violence Prevention Group reinforces that middle school students can be true leaders and positive behavior is contagious if you give it a positive voice and a positive place in school to be discussed.

 

The Current Format

 

We are currently at 60 members and counting, stretching across 6th, 7th and 8th grade.  Most members are 6th and 7th graders and about half a dozen 8th graders.  The format of our current group has changed a little.  The students created an outline at the beginning of the year of 10 topics they would like to discuss and share with the school in our video series called the “Roundtable”.  Some topics of interest were, name-calling, stereotypes, disrespect towards staff and substitutes, texting in school, cyber bullying, and fighting.  The group shares their thoughts on these topics, sighting specific examples, without naming names while being filmed.  The one-on-one intervention phase is all but gone at this point, but the size of the group continues to grow everyday.  In my opinion, this shows an interest in this topic on the part of the students and a need for the teaching of conflict prevention and resolution skills. 

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