6.      The Noisemaker – This student is constantly acting about five years younger than he really is.  He thinks his repertoire of “noises of the human body” is hilarious.  He thinks he is the inventor of the move where he flicks his cheek and lets air escape from his mouth to sound like water dripping into a bucket.  When he is not belching or passing gas, he is clicking, whistling, snapping, clapping, clucking, grunting, tapping…you get the idea.  What you can do:  Let The Noisemaker know that his act is not going to fly in your class. Chances are, The Noisemaker’s parents are well aware of his talents.  Ask them for help with his behavior.  I also let students belch and flatulate in class…if they provide me with a doctor’s note saying that they cannot control their flatulence.  This has always been my “trump card” when dealing with flatulators.  That is, until March of 2005.  I told a student that I would put him in our In-School Suspension room if he flatulated in class again…unless he provided me with a note from a doctor.  The next day, he walked into my office and tossed an official-looking note on my desk.  It was filled out by an emergency-room doctor, and said “Joey Schmoe is unable to control his sphincter muscle, and may at times flatulate uncontrollably.”  I called the hospital, and the note was legit!  Our health-care system triumphed over our educational system in this case!  I am just glad I wasn’t there for that exam!  I would still recommend requiring a doctor’s note for students who disrupt your class in that fashion, since that has only happened once in 19 years.  Who knows, maybe he really couldn’t control himself.

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